No More Flossing!

R.I.P. Thongs.  I will not miss you.  I always hated you, no matter how popular you were.  You were uncomfortable, painful, and in my personal case, didn't even do anything for me.  You can't even be considered a real piece of underwear; I own headbands with more fabric than you!  Boy shorts are everything you are not: comfortable, sensible, and actually a garment.

According to my Bible (aka Cosmo!), the multi-decade trend of thongs has now bitten the dust, and I will be the one dancing at the wake.

Thongs first came into my life in middle school.  The thong was popular, low cut jeans were popular, and I wanted to be popular too.  My first thong was pretty conservative...wide bands instead of strings everywhere.  It was too big, so it was actually pretty comfortable.  But I didn't really see the advantages they had.

I have a very odd body.  Nothing is in proportion and nothing makes sense.  This meant that for some reason, the only way I could get VPL (visible panty line) was to wear thick underwear and skintight clothes (like for dance class).  I never had the VPLdilemma (on the other hand, for some reason, no matter how high up my pants are, my crack will pop out when I sit down:( ).  But my friends wore thongs, so I did too.  I bought a ton!  But I rarely wore them; only when I was going to dance or made myself.

The way I see it, boy shorts are the best type of underwear.  They tend to end at a spot on your cheeks that's hidden by pockets, orthe movement of your walk.  They can be oh-so comfy!  And they're modest enough that they are fine to lounge around the house in.

They've been taking over my underwear drawer for years.  I'm not trying to brag about being ahead of the trend (because I never wore them to 'be cool' and I was going against a trend for so long), I'm saying...they're great!

And people are starting to agree...

You can see the boyshorts replacing the booty-floss in underwear stores, too.  We already found out that the new trend is in the Bible...but there's proof at church (or in my case, synagogue), a.k.a.  Victoria's Secret.  VS is known as the go-to place for sexy underwear.  Their fashion shows are televised on broadcast channels!  Obviously, they know what they're doing.  And their website has more of ALL types of underwear...except thongs.  This is even more true of their brand, VS Pink, hugely popular among younger consumers.  Boyshorts, bikinis, hipsters, boybriefs; they're at the top of the page, with the thongs hidden in between.

Ladies, its time to cover up those cheeks again! :D